Confessions of a Work-a-Holic Part 1 – Friends

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I am single, live alone in a city far away from my own and I am a self-proclaimed Work-a-holic! Well if you work 10 hours a day, I guess you are eligible for this title yourself! So here I’ve decided to start my own personal Work-a-holic diary, which most of you would be able to relate to because hey, we’ve all been through that phase some time or the other. And for those who are yet to experience it, well it’s not a bed of roses that your dreams make it out to be!

This one is dedicated to all the Friends of the Work-a-holic!

If you have a friend who has shifted base and is currently working in another city, then you must have noticed the frequency of calls going down as compared to when you guys were in the same city or in school / college or wherever you guys were together.

Ever wondered what the problem is? It’s actually quite simple!

 WHY THE WORK-A-HOLIC DOESN’T CALL

Everyone whose life only revolves around work feel that somehow their life has stagnated or has hit the Pause button. You feel that everyone has a life around you except YOU. And when someone asks you about how it is going with your life, you simply have no answer for except maybe “work’s good”.

You don’t like to call your other friends who are still in college because you feel their life is still awesome, surrounded by friends, in college leading a carefree life and having fun! And it’s like adding salt to the wounds so you simply don’t call.

You don’t like to call your other working friends because nobody will tell you how sucky their work life is, they’ll only talk about how awesome it is and after a point of time you do get tired of weaving those pretentious lies about your awesome life so you don’t call.

You don’t like to call your committed / married friends because all they will talk about is how happy they are with their respective partners and then they’ll give you all the worst tips and reasons possible on why and how you should also start dating. Trust me, after a while you just feel like banging their heads so it’s always better not to call.

You don’t even call your friends who are dating because all they would talk about is how wonderful it is to be in love! You may want to point out they are not dating yet but who listens to you when love is in the air! To save yourself from all the dramatics, you decide not to call.

And lastly, you don’t call your unemployed friends because they would keep asking you for a job you just don’t seem to have for them and they’ll curse you when you tell them the truth! To avoid the fights, you again don’t call.

Now, now, now don’t take the entire blame on yourself! It’s not just your moral duty to call! Shouldn’t your friends call you up sometime too?

Here’s why they don’t call.

WHY THE FRIENDS DON’T CALL

Friends in College are dying to start working and YOU seem to be their role model! They believe you are practically living the dream they always had since kids! You are young, single, working in a fantabulous job, live alone and party every night! Of course they have a whole list of misconceptions about working and no matter how much you tell the truth to them, they’ll never believe you. Experience is the worst teacher I guess. So anyways, they don’t like hearing about your AWESOME life which makes them even sadder with their present ones so they don’t like to call you.

Your other working friends have the same reason as yours so go read that above point.

Your committed / married friends will never tell you the gory reality of actually being in a relationship. They secretly envy you for being single, for still having so many options, for getting that beauty sleep of 8 hours at night, for having no silly fights over what to eat today and whatever silly topics these couples fight over, and so on and so forth. So every time they talk to you, they feel old and sad and feel like their missing out on life. So to avoid that depressed feeling, they don’t call You.

Your dating friends are in love, or let’s say Puppy Love! They’d rather talk to the guy/gal they’re in Puppy Love with rather than you. Don’t judge them for not calling, they are simply in Love. They’ll call you once they snap out of it!

Lastly your unemployed friends also don’t call you because they feel they keep bugging you over a job and they are just sad. Once they get a job, they’ll land up in the working people category and not call for the same reasons!

You see the problem here don’t you. We’ve all grown up! So much that instead of really talking to each other, we are more worried about the image that we are projecting on to everyone we talk to. Everyone in this world thinks his life is sad and slow and nothing seems to be happening at all! (Of course it’s not applicable if you are Barney Stinson, then you just think your life is AWESOME!)

Anyways, the point is we believe that all our friends have moved on or are actually doing something constructive with their lives and we are the only ones whose life has suddenly stagnated and we are stuck at one place, without any signs of going forward! The truth is, even our friends feel the same way.

Today, when we have all the means to stay connected like Facebook, Twitter, Whatsapp, the need to stay in touch has simply gone. It’s time we stopped judging our own selves, it’s time we stopped pitying our own selves because we don’t realize how many people are looking up to us to set the example and lead the way!

Life doesn’t become awesome by partying every night or wearing fancy stuff, it becomes awesome when we start believing it to be awesome and staying in touch with people who really care.

So all the Work-a-Holics, take a break, pick up that phone and call up people you really care about. Let them know how much you love them, really talk to them and hear them out. Trust me when you’ll be done, you’ll actually feel peace and happy and that self-pity mode would slowly start to break down.

And friends of Work-a-Holics, please note these people need you. They might not call you because they are really busy but they really need you. So you step up to your Friends-Responsibility and keep bugging them all the time! Don’t let them get into the self-pity mode! Make them feel loved and needed so that they stop being a Work-a-holic and be AWESOME instead!

Hope this article serves as a reminder of what is more important in life for people who seem to have forgotten it!

Stay tuned for more from the Work-a-holic Diaries!

Disclaimer: You don’t have to be a Work-a-holic to be able to relate to this article. As long as you have crazy friends or are one of those crazy friends, feel free to enjoy this one :)

6 Responses to Confessions of a Work-a-Holic Part 1 – Friends

  1. Shashwat Mishra says:

    “So to avoid that depressed feeling, they don’t call You.”
    “They’ll call you once they snap out of it!”

    This sounds less like a confession to me and more like a rant from someone who does not want to be in a relationship (for reasons not clearly evident from the article).

    Moreover, I think the assumption that being in a relationship costs you exorbitant amounts of time and trouble, is not entirely valid.

    That’s just my thought.

  2. Swati Bhalla says:

    Hi Shashwat,

    First of all Thanks for your feedback and your thoughts are always appreciated :)

    Well to clarify a few of your points, it is not a rant from someone who wants to remain single, it is merely based on observations and the few calls exchanged with friends and their behavior patterns in the last 2 years since I started working. Plus my responses as well.

    Besides this article is not about all those reasons why I wish to remain single, it is about Friends and why the frequency of calls go down between people who were once absolutely inseparable!

    Secondly, you may be right that being in a relationship does not mean high costs of anything in anyway, it is just supposed to be a funny outlook on how 90% of such relationships turn out to be. Again based on my observations of my friends-couples.

    Plus to add on, what you are saying is completely correct. But the thing to remember is each individual is different. I can’t write down each and every aspect of a relationship here. So for the purpose of writing, have taken the most common characteristics seen and felt by all, just to give it a universal appeal.

    Hope it clarifies your doubts :)

  3. Shashwat Mishra says:

    Your point is well taken. Although, I would refrain from making generalizations about relationships of any kind. I guess you are not alone in (covertly) advocating the choice of staying single (see url below). And I am further guessing it won’t be long before the trend goes widespread. Poor me(n).

    http://edition.cnn.com/2013/08/18/world/asia/on-china-single-women-leta-hong-fincher/index.html?hpt=hp_c1

  4. Swati Bhalla says:

    Well, to restate here as mentioned in my earlier comment also, this article is no where advocating my choice of staying single, it is just merely about Friendships! That’s all that there is to it!

    And as to making any generalizations about relationships, well isn’t this a democratic country! That’s basically what I love doing, but whether you agree or not is completely dependent on you. That wouldn’t stop me from doing it.

    And as to the trend going widespread, well no comments on that! It’s everyone’s personal choices and I totally respect that.

  5. Chandan Verma says:

    Good One!!

  6. Anukool says:

    Nice one!

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